From the addictive tendencies workshop

 People adopt different addictive patterns in an attempt to avoid setting with their guilt and other wounds ( to be discussed)

In their minds they are offering themselves a kind pat on the shoulder through being addictive. While in fact on a deep subconscious level they want to punish themselves for their guilt and shame, they want to sabotage their potential as they believe if “I did this or that and I got away with it , I deserve punishment,” redemption through suffering.
And even if the pattern originated as a result of traumatizing experience such as abuse , rejection, oppression or separation,  they still feel “I must be a bad person to deserve what happened to me” , so again self punishment arises.

''You Don’t Have to Earn Delight''
The Shadow of Seriousness; A survival pattern that says: “If I don’t carry it, it will fall apart.”
It shows up as tension in the body, guilt for resting, and the belief that joy must be earned. 
Often rooted in childhood , when playfulness wasn’t safe, and you had to grow up too soon.
In Personal Life:This shadow shows in the inability to relax, celebrate, or pause, rest can feel uneasy.Guilt whispers when you slow down.
But your body remembers, Delight isn’t laziness. It’s your birthright.
In Relationships:You may be the one who holds it all together. Strong,Stable,Serious.But secretly? Tired. 
Delight softens control.It invites curiosity and intimacy without performance.
In Leadership:You lead with presence and integrity,but often carry invisible pressure to get it right.Delight unbinds the shoulders.It turns influence into inspiration.Leadership becomes embodied.
The Gift of Delight is embodied wisdom.It comes when the pressure lifts.It’s how your system knows you’re safe.It’s how others know they’re safe with you.

According to Gabor Mate there are Five levels of compassion
1. Ordinary human compassionThis “entry level” compassion,  is the common ability to connect with another’s suffering. 
2. The compassion of curiosity and understanding. Your willingness to know and understand the why 
3. The compassion of recognitionIt’s the wisdom that allows us to appreciate the way we are all human, all fallible. It’s wisdom that prevents us from judgingothers for their actions. 
This ability to see others in ourselves is also an antidote to shame.
4. The compassion of truthWe avoid pain, and we avoid healing because of its proximity to pain. But the compassion of truth is realizing that pain is natural and healthy; “pain is not the enemy.”
5. The compassion of possibilityThis kind of compassion allows us to remain open to uncertainty and mystery. 
Staying open to possibility is not simply an intellectual statistical analysis. It’s an aliveness to wholeness both in ourselves and others.

“ Allowing financial ease to Your system “ 
I felt collective subconscious resistance due to the collective perception that we don’t deserve being financially free and prosperous,  
we are carrying a great deal of guilt and shame for many reasons mainly related to the country and what has been taking place in many domains.
So people believe they deserve to be punished to redeem their guilt, then they decide better be punished financially and struggle trying to maintain my life ( that’s pain I can handle) than  something I can’t live with that’s how we were brought up and programmedلو جت في الفلوس بسيطه ، المهم الصحه ، العيال ،الستر….وهكذا
Not that I don’t agree that kids, health and peace are more important.
what could be a possible healing movement?..

An insight from my work, 
Through working with teenagers who are troubled and engaged in harmful behaviours , that may cause them many problems and leads to a great deal of agony to their parents, 
I came to realize that many of them have a death wish that is very deep they are not aware of. So part of being a constant cause of pain and suffering for their loved ones , is to prepare them for the sudden loss and to ease the pain of the death. 
And in many of these cases the parents admitted that at a point of time they wished for the death of the child to get rid of his / her problems.
The loving movement of the child towards his parent directs him to :
“ Dear mom, dear dad , I know you would be devastated if I die on you while I am the perfect child,  and maybe it would be less devastating if I die as the bad , miserable child. I choose to ease the pain, I will be the bad child whose death would be such a relief”
What the child can’t recognize is it would be equally devastating, as the parent would feel guilty , couldn’t save the child 
The healing movement: Bring this to the awareness of the teenager and to his parents, investigate whom this death wish really belongs to.And pull your child out of this, 
With strong love, let them feel that your grep can always pull them out of their misery and fears.

An insight from my work 
If a parent witnessed a moment of near death experience of his/ her child by ( acccident , suffocating, drowning… ) , 
The level of panic and horror of that moment is intolerable, it’s shocking to the primary brain of the parent, to the point that , 
the subconscious may choose to believe that the child is already dead. 
Why ? 
For the primary brain it’s simple: 
“ if I incorporated the fact that the child survived the incident, then I have to include the possibility that this moment could happen again,  but if I paused the moment and convinced myself that the child is already dead , I am safe . 
I guarded my self from feeling this moment of devastation again, it would kill me . The internal survival mechanism would dictate: If I lost you once to death , I can’t lose you twice. “
And by that the parent is able to continue his or her parenting obligations and role on the conscious level without being threatened on the subconscious level.
And what’s the effect of that on the child? who on a deep level knows that he is already dead for that parent, and he is not seen , He/ she will try to prove hardly that he exists, either through excelling or repelling. 
What can help? bring back that moment and update the parent and the child. He survived , you survived. You both survived it.